Friday (v0.2)

by now, you must have heard the news about the tragic death of linkin park’s lead singer. listening to their music is part of my 90’s and i can sing some of their hit songs. to be honest, the only member of the band familiar to me is mike shinoda. i didn’t know until last night that the lead vocals, chester, is really the one mostly singing all those linkin park songs that i know! i’m not a super fan of the band but they are a part of my life because i listen to their music during my early days.

i guess, hearing the news yesterday about his untimely passing is something i can relate to. usually, when an artist dies suddenly, i won’t be affected at all. i will think about that person but then after that, i will be ok. it’s also a coincidence that i’ve heard the sad news on a same day i found out about my friend’s death, which is similar in nature. tragic. sudden. devastating.

i honestly feel that knowing someone who died of similar causes, makes me more cautious and aware on how to react properly. i feel disgusted reading comments from netizens saying ‘how a coward act’ or ‘how selfish’ to someone who commited suicide.

for people like us who are living happy lives and never had to struggle overcoming the inner demons in ourselves, it’s easy to say that. but personally, knowing a friend who just died of similar case, i know that she was not that kind of person. she was a lovely, nice person. it’s just that there were some things on her head that she can’t overcome and instead, she chose to end her life to end the unbearable pain she was experiencing. i know just by observing her, that the struggle she felt was too much. she was not functional and mostly lost in her thoughts. i still feel upset every time she crosses my mind, because i know we could have helped her if only she opened up.

it’s easy to judge other people, not fully knowing the details of what they are going through. this is one of the realisations me and my husband were talking about. we now have a conscious effort not to joke about people having low self-esteem, even saying ‘ang baba naman ng eq’¬†is something i will never ever say again. there are really some things in life you will learn the hard way and this is one of it.

in my opinion, people who choose to end their life is not a cowardly act nor a selfish one. suicide is due to a mental illness which is caused by severe depression, anxiety and stress. i know it based from first hand experience through my friend. it’s unfair for my friend to be labelled as selfish. maybe yes, it’s her choice to end her life and she left a family behind. but it’s not different from a person dying of cancer and also leaving a family behind. both person died because of an illness. and it’s no one’s choice to be sick.

i hope if you know someone whom you think is struggling, lonely or depressed, reach out to them and not judge them. as mature adults, we should be conscious of what to say to other people, don’t treat everything as a joke and let’s be more sensitive to them. these are the things i realised recently that hopefully i can share to other people.

and if you are one of my friends reading this, i want you to know that you’ve got a friend in me and i’m here to listen to you anytime you need me. ūüôā

 

Friday

Friday. This is the most favourite day of most people I know and including myself. Looking forward to a weekend of rest and relaxation at home with the loved ones.

But yesterday’s Friday is different from all the Fridays I had.

We had an emergency meeting at work yesterday. Emergency meetings are not a good sign. Initially I thought there is some sort of a restructuring or redundancy announcement going to happen. I am scared as I don’t want to lose a job now that we have a mortgage to pay.

Our director broke the news that one of my colleagues…or a friend passed away the other day. He said it’s a tragic accident. We were all shocked upon hearing this news. I first thought that it was some sort of a vehicular accident and one of my colleagues asked how are the other members of the family are doing. Then our boss said all members of the family are alive except for my colleague. We were all became more shocked to find out that even if he did not mention the reason, we could read between the lines that my friend took her own life.

I was shocked, devastated and upset to hear about this news. This is the first time I personally know someone whose death is because of that. I just remember seeing her last Thursday. We saw her crossing the road and she must have recognised our car because she stopped for a while. She just stopped from her spot while I alight at the bus stop, cross the road and took another bus without looking back. I felt she must have want some personal space so I did not bother catching up on her. I am aware of her struggle during the last week we were together.

I was thinking if something could have changed if I have talked to her last time I saw her. I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going through her mind.

I was aware of her personal struggle at work during her last week at our client. Her mood changed and was quiet most of the time, not working anymore and just sitting beside me silently her eyes glued to her phone. I tried to pep talk her and treated her for a coffee hoping that she will open up to me. She was just quiet and even if I probed her with lots of questions, all she said to me was she doesn’t want to talk about it. So I did not push further and instead, I diverted the conversation to something else.

I am shocked. She is not only a colleague but somehow became a friend to me. Even if our friendship did not flourish as deep as my other friendships, I know I am friends with her as we eat lunch together, go home at the same time and walk to the bus together and even ride the same bus unless I am in a hurry and will ride another bus other than the ‘Purple’ bus that we always take together.

Our conversations mostly revolve around our kids, what sorts of cartoon our kids watch, what brand of kiddy toothpaste we use as her daughter does not like any toothpaste brands, what weekend activity we are up to and basically the differences of our lives here compared to PH and China.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was awake from 2 am and just lying in my bed with my eyes closed, saying a silent prayer for the Lord to put me back to sleep…and also saying a prayer for my friend. I can’t help but think about her because she’s part of my routine for 3 months because we work on the same project together. I think about her because she’s also a mother like me who has left a husband and a 4yo daughter. I can’t imagine leaving my son and husband just like that. ūüė•

Despite the work stress, I am staying strong for my son and husband. Life is like that. I do not know what she is going through because she is a private person and does not open up much. But surely I can help her if only she opened up to me, us and others.

I just pray and hope that wherever she is now, she finds the peace she is yearning for. I will miss her presence, the bus conversations and all the good times we had together.

Monday will be a different day at work.

 

What’s inside your nose?

Early this afternoon while I was changing my son’s nappy, I noticed that there’s a¬†hint of orange thing peeking from inside his nose. I thought I was just imagining things, I look closely and I’m convinced that there’s REALLY something inside his nose. I felt slightly alarmed¬†so we brought him to the 24-hr clinic to have the foreign object removed by the doctor. My son looks very NORMAL though, happy and no slightest sign of difficulty in breathing. He must be feeling that those things inside his nose are just regular boogers and he is used to it!

Initially, I was itching to removed it but then I was afraid of making the object go further so we went to see¬†a doctor so as not to aggravate the situation. Luckily, there weren’t too many patients by the time we visited. Otherwise, we could have waited for ages and the more anxious I will be.

Alas, we finally saw the doctor. He asked us a couple of questions like where the object came from, if we tried removing it, any signs of distress, etc. Well, he got it at the preschool.

First try, the doctor instructed us to try removing the object using a non invasive way by doing the “mother’s kiss” approach or simply covering one nostril while blowing on the child’s mouth. This didn’t work because my boy was squirming and he felt uncomfortable and even laughing¬†when dad is blowing on his mouth like doing a CPR.

But thanks God for¬†our life saver aka¬†kiddie videos which was saved in dad’s mobile phone. He can watch his favorite video while we are busy figuring out how to remove the thing from his nose.

Second try, all four of us – doctor, nurse, me and husband, joined forces in removing the foreign object from my son’s nose. The doctor was holding the forceps, nurse was holding the light and occasionally holding my son’s head, my husband in charge of holding the legs and arms and sometimes the mobile phone too so toddler will¬†be entertained and I was in charge of sucking the object from the nose using a straw. It was tiring! All my veins were popping out of my neck from all that sucking. I then asked my husband to do it because I was already tired.

After a couple of attempts, finally the foreign object was removed!

This is what we got stuck from his nose…

17192631_10212179217819299_5202385539855225062_o
An orange chalk ūüėź

Geez, kids do really love sticking things inside their nose. I was wondering how could this thing fit inside his nose. But as you know kids, they will find ways to put things where it’s not supposed to. So much for curiosity and exploration!

 

My Beauty Regimen

To begin with, I don’t really have a regular beauty regimen. In fact, I am the laziest¬†person when it comes to beautification. I guess that’s one of the reasons my husband loves me because I am a low maintenance, zero fuck given kind of girl in terms of beauty department though I have to admit that from time to time, looking at the mirror is one of my favorite things to do. I have a make up kit which I rarely used and almost nearing expiry.¬†I don’t know how to make nice eyebrows, contour¬†and blend.¬†Waley!

So it is a safe assumption that my face is one of my¬†most neglected body parts. That’s why now, at the age of 32, I can now see the signs of aging on my face like dark¬†spots from sun exposure as well as lines and wrinkles under my eyes. I spent many years traveling and YOLO YOLO¬†without wearing sunblock –¬†aray!¬†I suddenly panic and it dawned on me,¬†“Shet, wala na pala ako sa calendaryo!”.¬†Now, I realize that I need to do something to slow down (not stop) the signs of aging because as you know, AGING is inevitable.

I bought these beauty products recently so I can do¬†my nightly rituals again and hopefully my face will improve a bit. My face looks dull, dry and I feel like I look older than most 40-year-old out there. These are different from the ones I bought previously. It’s exciting to try new products once in a while.

Kiehl's Toner and Facial Wash
Kiehl’s Toner and Facial Wash

Among the beauty products I tried, my face best works with Kiehl’s products. Last year, when I started using Kiehl’s, some of my colleagues noticed that my face was glowing and they asked me what beauty product I used so I told them that I used Kiehl’s toner, facial wash and moisturizer every night below.

But that stopped when I finished all of them and budget became tight when we moved to our new house and most of my money was for paying bills, mortgage, daycare and buying new furniture. Now, I am trying to make a goal every month to buy 1-2 beauty products if my budget allows it. A good beauty product is never cheap! I am a cheap person and after buying cheap products, I found them ineffective and not long-lasting so I am changing my approach and will buy more quality products but a bit pricey of course. Next month, these are the next on my list – a moisturizer (yes I don’t moisturize which is really evil right), an eye cream and a night serum before I go to sleep (Zzzzzzz).

Doing the accounting, these will cost me around $200. Now, I feel guilty buying a $200 worth of beauty products in one swipe unlike before. But I am also thinking that this is my¬†treat for myself because I honestly feel, I’m feeling old.

Do you have any beauty products that you can recommend? Also any nice tips and tricks to improve the skin especially for a¬†Mom like me? Don’t worry about me not getting enough 8 hours of sleep because¬†I’m usually at bed as early as 9 pm and wakes up at 630-7 am. ūüėČ

 

Trip to Oamaru

my family from the PH visited us here in NZ last holiday season. it’s the first time my family went on a long haul trip which is really exciting!¬†it was fun and memorable albeit a little short as they stayed only for 3 weeks. nevertheless, i know that they enjoyed their visit most especially spending quality¬†time with my son. ūüôā

traveling in new zealand is not complete without going on a road trip. and so, channeling my inner travel consultant persona, i brought them to some of the tourist destinations here in south island such as akaroa, wanaka, queenstown, oamaru and tekapo. my husband did an awesome job driving for us! *thanks papa*

since there are lots of photos and stories to share, i will post one place at a time. ūüôā

first place is oamaru, a town located¬†three-hours away¬†from christchurch and at the east coast of new zealand. oamaru is part of the north otago region and reminds me of vigan or intramuros in the PH because¬†of its historic victorian architecture. we had a limited time touring the city because it’s only a day trip and much of the time spent was catching up on stories in my relatives house. but they are gracious hosts and showed us around the town. first stop is the victorian precinct which is a small hub filled with shops, restaurants and art galleries.

oam_4

oam_1

oam_2

oam_3

oam_6

oam_14

oam_15

we tried the locally made ice cream at deja moo. my father did not finished his ice cream because he was feeling cold from the weather.

oam_7

oam_13

oam_11

oam_10

oam_9

oam_8

it started to drizzle and get cold so we’ve decided to go to¬†oamaru blue penguin colony¬†as our last stop.¬†unfortunately, we did not see any penguins that time because we were still early and the penguins will only come out during the night-time. since it’s summer, sunset means 9 pm¬†in our part of the world.

oam_12

oam_13

there’s still a lot more to explore in oamaru but sadly we have to go home. the charming old town makes me feel transported to another lifetime. next time, we will go back and will definitely check out the penguins. ūüôā

<3,