birthday bridge bungy

I celebrated my 33rd birthday last weekend. Time flies! I could not believe that all those years have gone by in an instant. Despite working for almost a decade, sometimes I feel that my skills are still like that of a fresh graduate out of university – walang alam. Haha! There are times that I feel young inside even acting childish but then I can hear my joints making a cracking sound every time I move!

Anyway, we went to Hanmer Springs last weekend to celebrate my birthday. It’s been a while since we went out-of-town and my husband miss going out for a long drive. What a perfect time for us because the weather was so good last week and the mountains are filled with snow due to a recent snow storm here in New Zealand.

We passed by a tourist information centre and I saw that they are offering various activities such as quad biking, jet boating, rafting, canoeing and bungy. I am interested to bungy but I told my husband to give me some time to think. I need to think if I still have the guts to jump, what’s gonna happen to them if something goes wrong and so on.

I gave it some thought. Like 3 minutes.

I went back to the information centre and I booked a bungy session for the following day!

Motherhood may have changed me as a person but then I will always be a YOLO girl at heart. I hope if there’s some trait that my son will get from me, that is never to be afraid and to have faith that things will work out in a positive way. 🙂

THRS_THRS_2017_07_30_C1190_1115

THRS_THRS_2017_07_30_C1198_1123

THRS_THRS_2017_07_30_C1199_1124

 

Friday (v0.2)

by now, you must have heard the news about the tragic death of linkin park’s lead singer. listening to their music is part of my 90’s and i can sing some of their hit songs. to be honest, the only member of the band familiar to me is mike shinoda. i didn’t know until last night that the lead vocals, chester, is really the one mostly singing all those linkin park songs that i know! i’m not a super fan of the band but they are a part of my life because i listen to their music during my early days.

i guess, hearing the news yesterday about his untimely passing is something i can relate to. usually, when an artist dies suddenly, i won’t be affected at all. i will think about that person but then after that, i will be ok. it’s also a coincidence that i’ve heard the sad news on a same day i found out about my friend’s death, which is similar in nature. tragic. sudden. devastating.

i honestly feel that knowing someone who died of similar causes, makes me more cautious and aware on how to react properly. i feel disgusted reading comments from netizens saying ‘how a coward act’ or ‘how selfish’ to someone who commited suicide.

for people like us who are living happy lives and never had to struggle overcoming the inner demons in ourselves, it’s easy to say that. but personally, knowing a friend who just died of similar case, i know that she was not that kind of person. she was a lovely, nice person. it’s just that there were some things on her head that she can’t overcome and instead, she chose to end her life to end the unbearable pain she was experiencing. i know just by observing her, that the struggle she felt was too much. she was not functional and mostly lost in her thoughts. i still feel upset every time she crosses my mind, because i know we could have helped her if only she opened up.

it’s easy to judge other people, not fully knowing the details of what they are going through. this is one of the realisations me and my husband were talking about. we now have a conscious effort not to joke about people having low self-esteem, even saying ‘ang baba naman ng eq’ is something i will never ever say again. there are really some things in life you will learn the hard way and this is one of it.

in my opinion, people who choose to end their life is not a cowardly act nor a selfish one. suicide is due to a mental illness which is caused by severe depression, anxiety and stress. i know it based from first hand experience through my friend. it’s unfair for my friend to be labelled as selfish. maybe yes, it’s her choice to end her life and she left a family behind. but it’s not different from a person dying of cancer and also leaving a family behind. both person died because of an illness. and it’s no one’s choice to be sick.

i hope if you know someone whom you think is struggling, lonely or depressed, reach out to them and not judge them. as mature adults, we should be conscious of what to say to other people, don’t treat everything as a joke and let’s be more sensitive to them. these are the things i realised recently that hopefully i can share to other people.

and if you are one of my friends reading this, i want you to know that you’ve got a friend in me and i’m here to listen to you anytime you need me. 🙂

 

Friday

Friday. This is the most favourite day of most people I know and including myself. Looking forward to a weekend of rest and relaxation at home with the loved ones.

But yesterday’s Friday is different from all the Fridays I had.

We had an emergency meeting at work yesterday. Emergency meetings are not a good sign. Initially I thought there is some sort of a restructuring or redundancy announcement going to happen. I am scared as I don’t want to lose a job now that we have a mortgage to pay.

Our director broke the news that one of my colleagues…or a friend passed away the other day. He said it’s a tragic accident. We were all shocked upon hearing this news. I first thought that it was some sort of a vehicular accident and one of my colleagues asked how are the other members of the family are doing. Then our boss said all members of the family are alive except for my colleague. We were all became more shocked to find out that even if he did not mention the reason, we could read between the lines that my friend took her own life.

I was shocked, devastated and upset to hear about this news. This is the first time I personally know someone whose death is because of that. I just remember seeing her last Thursday. We saw her crossing the road and she must have recognised our car because she stopped for a while. She just stopped from her spot while I alight at the bus stop, cross the road and took another bus without looking back. I felt she must have want some personal space so I did not bother catching up on her. I am aware of her struggle during the last week we were together.

I was thinking if something could have changed if I have talked to her last time I saw her. I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going through her mind.

I was aware of her personal struggle at work during her last week at our client. Her mood changed and was quiet most of the time, not working anymore and just sitting beside me silently her eyes glued to her phone. I tried to pep talk her and treated her for a coffee hoping that she will open up to me. She was just quiet and even if I probed her with lots of questions, all she said to me was she doesn’t want to talk about it. So I did not push further and instead, I diverted the conversation to something else.

I am shocked. She is not only a colleague but somehow became a friend to me. Even if our friendship did not flourish as deep as my other friendships, I know I am friends with her as we eat lunch together, go home at the same time and walk to the bus together and even ride the same bus unless I am in a hurry and will ride another bus other than the ‘Purple’ bus that we always take together.

Our conversations mostly revolve around our kids, what sorts of cartoon our kids watch, what brand of kiddy toothpaste we use as her daughter does not like any toothpaste brands, what weekend activity we are up to and basically the differences of our lives here compared to PH and China.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was awake from 2 am and just lying in my bed with my eyes closed, saying a silent prayer for the Lord to put me back to sleep…and also saying a prayer for my friend. I can’t help but think about her because she’s part of my routine for 3 months because we work on the same project together. I think about her because she’s also a mother like me who has left a husband and a 4yo daughter. I can’t imagine leaving my son and husband just like that. 😥

Despite the work stress, I am staying strong for my son and husband. Life is like that. I do not know what she is going through because she is a private person and does not open up much. But surely I can help her if only she opened up to me, us and others.

I just pray and hope that wherever she is now, she finds the peace she is yearning for. I will miss her presence, the bus conversations and all the good times we had together.

Monday will be a different day at work.

 

My Beauty Regimen

To begin with, I don’t really have a regular beauty regimen. In fact, I am the laziest person when it comes to beautification. I guess that’s one of the reasons my husband loves me because I am a low maintenance, zero fuck given kind of girl in terms of beauty department though I have to admit that from time to time, looking at the mirror is one of my favorite things to do. I have a make up kit which I rarely used and almost nearing expiry. I don’t know how to make nice eyebrows, contour and blend. Waley!

So it is a safe assumption that my face is one of my most neglected body parts. That’s why now, at the age of 32, I can now see the signs of aging on my face like dark spots from sun exposure as well as lines and wrinkles under my eyes. I spent many years traveling and YOLO YOLO without wearing sunblock – aray! I suddenly panic and it dawned on me, “Shet, wala na pala ako sa calendaryo!”. Now, I realize that I need to do something to slow down (not stop) the signs of aging because as you know, AGING is inevitable.

I bought these beauty products recently so I can do my nightly rituals again and hopefully my face will improve a bit. My face looks dull, dry and I feel like I look older than most 40-year-old out there. These are different from the ones I bought previously. It’s exciting to try new products once in a while.

Kiehl's Toner and Facial Wash
Kiehl’s Toner and Facial Wash

Among the beauty products I tried, my face best works with Kiehl’s products. Last year, when I started using Kiehl’s, some of my colleagues noticed that my face was glowing and they asked me what beauty product I used so I told them that I used Kiehl’s toner, facial wash and moisturizer every night below.

But that stopped when I finished all of them and budget became tight when we moved to our new house and most of my money was for paying bills, mortgage, daycare and buying new furniture. Now, I am trying to make a goal every month to buy 1-2 beauty products if my budget allows it. A good beauty product is never cheap! I am a cheap person and after buying cheap products, I found them ineffective and not long-lasting so I am changing my approach and will buy more quality products but a bit pricey of course. Next month, these are the next on my list – a moisturizer (yes I don’t moisturize which is really evil right), an eye cream and a night serum before I go to sleep (Zzzzzzz).

Doing the accounting, these will cost me around $200. Now, I feel guilty buying a $200 worth of beauty products in one swipe unlike before. But I am also thinking that this is my treat for myself because I honestly feel, I’m feeling old.

Do you have any beauty products that you can recommend? Also any nice tips and tricks to improve the skin especially for a Mom like me? Don’t worry about me not getting enough 8 hours of sleep because I’m usually at bed as early as 9 pm and wakes up at 630-7 am. 😉

 

Welcome 2017!

happy new year friends! it’s another year full of hope, dreams and fun-filled adventures for me and my family. 2016 has been good and i’m grateful for all the wonderful things that happened to me. our new home is the best thing that happened to us for the past year. despite adjusting to budgeting and feeling poor as ever (haha), health wise, career wise and family wise…i am joyful and contented.

hny_17

my yearly new year’s resolution of losing weight never progressed and wishing for a slimmer figure is like…

dieting-is-easy-its-a-walk-in-the-park-and-5026864

i find new year resolutions easy to break like promises you can’t deliver. though there are some things in 2016 that i would like to continue and improve better such as:

  • keeping in touch with friends and family and checking how they’re doing from time to time.
  • keeping a clutter free home and being organize in my personal belongings, computer files, friends in social media (ONLY stay connected to people who matter).
  • unfollow and unfriend dramatic and attention seeking social media super star wannabes.
  • debt free and organize family budgeting.
  • more camping, tramping and other outdoor adventures.
  • learn and improve new skills related to my job and also for personal growth.
  • talking less and listening more.
  • limiting my social media posts. i am pertaining to facebook. (rather filtering the audience of my posts, i chose to delete people whom i haven’t spoken for a while. haha! easy peasy.)

i feel this year will be as good as last year. or better. 🙂

xx,