Friday (v0.2)

by now, you must have heard the news about the tragic death of linkin park’s lead singer. listening to their music is part of my 90’s and i can sing some of their hit songs. to be honest, the only member of the band familiar to me is mike shinoda. i didn’t know until last night that the lead vocals, chester, is really the one mostly singing all those linkin park songs that i know! i’m not a super fan of the band but they are a part of my life because i listen to their music during my early days.

i guess, hearing the news yesterday about his untimely passing is something i can relate to. usually, when an artist dies suddenly, i won’t be affected at all. i will think about that person but then after that, i will be ok. it’s also a coincidence that i’ve heard the sad news on a same day i found out about my friend’s death, which is similar in nature. tragic. sudden. devastating.

i honestly feel that knowing someone who died of similar causes, makes me more cautious and aware on how to react properly. i feel disgusted reading comments from netizens saying ‘how a coward act’ or ‘how selfish’ to someone who commited suicide.

for people like us who are living happy lives and never had to struggle overcoming the inner demons in ourselves, it’s easy to say that. but personally, knowing a friend who just died of similar case, i know that she was not that kind of person. she was a lovely, nice person. it’s just that there were some things on her head that she can’t overcome and instead, she chose to end her life to end the unbearable pain she was experiencing. i know just by observing her, that the struggle she felt was too much. she was not functional and mostly lost in her thoughts. i still feel upset every time she crosses my mind, because i know we could have helped her if only she opened up.

it’s easy to judge other people, not fully knowing the details of what they are going through. this is one of the realisations me and my husband were talking about. we now have a conscious effort not to joke about people having low self-esteem, even saying ‘ang baba naman ng eq’ is something i will never ever say again. there are really some things in life you will learn the hard way and this is one of it.

in my opinion, people who choose to end their life is not a cowardly act nor a selfish one. suicide is due to a mental illness which is caused by severe depression, anxiety and stress. i know it based from first hand experience through my friend. it’s unfair for my friend to be labelled as selfish. maybe yes, it’s her choice to end her life and she left a family behind. but it’s not different from a person dying of cancer and also leaving a family behind. both person died because of an illness. and it’s no one’s choice to be sick.

i hope if you know someone whom you think is struggling, lonely or depressed, reach out to them and not judge them. as mature adults, we should be conscious of what to say to other people, don’t treat everything as a joke and let’s be more sensitive to them. these are the things i realised recently that hopefully i can share to other people.

and if you are one of my friends reading this, i want you to know that you’ve got a friend in me and i’m here to listen to you anytime you need me. 🙂